To all the mama elephants out there...

This is what infusion looks like. A quick snapshot during one of three regularly scheduled appointments that occur every other week. These days are appreciated, tiring and make lounging at home all the sweeter. In order to accomplish three appointments spread over two floors and some grace periods in-between they often turn into 6 hour trips. It is a great facility with great staff who make spending the day there even easier to endure.

For those of you who may not know this about my mother, she loves spoiled endings to any story. Back when her mind was healthier and she could read a book, she had been known to skim the last chapter first in order to better enjoy the story that was hidden between the covers. So, in honor of my mom, I will begin by telling you that she is continuing to do well and got another good MRI report...eventually. Read on and that’ll make more sense later. That is the sugar-coated and very short version of the events over the past few weeks. There’s way more to it, as usual. I commend you for voluntarily going on this roller coaster with us. Us Groff’s haven’t really had a choice...AT ALL. Mom, Dad, us girls, our husbands, along with our dear children have been forced to ride it out. No matter how many ups and downs we encounter, we’re going; strapped in with no way out. But you! You all have graciously jumped in behind us, supporting us through every twist and turn and downward spiral all the while celebrating with us through the moments when the ride has slowed down and glided along steadily giving us a chance to catch our breath. Your cards, concern and prayers have been so encouraging. Blessings for sure. Good things have already come from this, this “what if” that my family has been living though the past 21 months. Yep! That was not a typo. It’s hard to believe sometimes! This has been going on for 21 months. 94 weeks to be exact. That is roughly the same length of time as the gestation period of an African elephant...which I also have trouble wrapping my mind around! It just feels like a really long time...for us...and all the momma elephants out there, I’m sure. Sigh. All this to say, thank you for staying along side us this entire time. Loving us. Being a listening ear. Being an encouraging word. Supplying meals. Offering childcare. Praying. Praying. And then praying some more. Giving a much needed hug. Continuing to ask us how things are. Sending us cards. The CARDS!!! I can’t go on without telling you! The overflowing card basket in my parent’s home has now been upgraded to eight...yes eight, neatly organized, categorized and alphabetized plastic card bins. Mom has put us to work organizing her cards so that she can now pray more specifically for each of you. She has saved every single card, and she cherishes them all oh so very much. The love you send through the cards along with the time and postage you've sacrificed has not been in vain! Some days I think she loves her cards more than her darling daughters and dear husband. This may be a slight exaggeration but is up for debate. So again, thank you for coming along on this ride. It’s been a doozy. Back to the non-sugar-coated version of what’s been happening besides organizing hundreds of cards... Long story long, in April Mom had a routine MRI. This typically painless procedure caused her to have terrible head pain during and the days after the scan. In order to get the best images as possible for a brain MRI, your head must be secured so that it doesn’t move at all. This has never bothered her before, but she felt as though they secured her head differently this time and everything was overly tight. It left her head aching which lingered for days that turned into weeks. Her head is still sore. All of that torture was followed by a not so good report. The radiologist made his observations of the scan and within a few days the report was in and the oncologist called with the results. She reported that there have been changes in the wrong direction. There appeared to be some tumor growth. A little nodule of something was beginning to form, so she suggested it was time to call UPenn. In other words, (more specifically, in my words), she was saying that the Lancaster Cancer Institute in all their wonderfulness has given care to the best of their ability, but it was time to look at alternate, if any, treatment options; trials. After receiving this call, Dad set in motion the Groff-Girl phone chain, and in no time we were all up-to-date with the latest news. We were a bit taken back because what they were telling us didn’t seem to line up with what we were seeing. In general, Mom seemed as good as usual. So, before exploring UPenn, Dad calmly and wisely decided to seek the council of Mom’s neurosurgeon to get his take on things. Each of mom’s doctors, three specialists to be exact, have so much to offer and each play a crucial part in this interwoven web of care. But to get the most accurate interpretation of what only God knows is actually going on in Mom’s brain we call the Neurosurgeon. Within days they had an appointment and he was able to bring some light to the situation. He explained that there were slight changes but they were so very minor that there would be no need to explore options at UPenn at this time, and his suggestion was to continue treatment as usual. He said we should be very happy with how things look and these minor changes could have simply been a blip on the MRI. That was good enough for us...we’ll take it! Mom will have another routine MRI in a few weeks. Another development has been the discussion of what to do about the meds that Mom is on. Her treatment up to this point has been somewhat protocol. For patients diagnosed with glioblastoma they go through a checklist of treatments. Have surgery. Check. Chemo and radiation simultaneously. Check. Just chemo for as long as you can handle it. Check. Give a go with Avaston treatments; aka infusions. Check. Well, then what? What we are hearing from the doctors is that patients don’t usually respond as well to the infusions as God has allowed Mom to, so now her course of care is open for discussion. She will continue infusions, but questions were raised between doctors as to whether or not Mom should be weaned off some of the medication she is on. Specifically the steroid that keeps the swelling in her brain down. Typically the human body does not handle something like a steroid very well for an extended length of time. Contrary to the steroids you hear about in the news that are abused by athletes, this steroid does the opposite and deteriorates your muscles among other things in your body. Mom has been on this all but the entire time since she was diagnosed. But now, with Mom doing so well the neurosurgeon brought to light the question of, could she possibly be doing even better if she were to get off the steroid completely? So far two of her doctors have differing opinions. The oncologist feels that the steroid should remain because both times they’ve played around with the steroid in the past, Mom had her seizures. This was probably not coincidental, but no one knows for sure. The neurosurgeon wonders if this time would be different because she is on an added medication to help prevent seizures. So much to think about. What to do??? We don’t know either. All this talk and questioning is a good reminder that God is in control, and we are mere humans who like to think we are in control most of the time. Doctors are a blessing but not God so we look to our God for direction. Please be praying for clear direction concerning these medical decisions. With that, if you would, you can continue to pray for overall clarity in Mom’s brain. Mom is doing so well, but she still struggles so much in many different ways. Enough so that us girls are continuing to stay with her when Dad is at work. We give her small breaks each day to be alone as this is her desire, but she would love more independence and to have her home back and be the homemaker that she has always been. (Specifically, the empty nesting homemaker ;) Her mind and how it has been affected can be tricky to put into words. She struggles rationalizing at times and continues to battle short term memory loss. All this brings about a lot of anxiety, stress and frustration. Unfortunately this just scratches the surface of how her mind has been damaged by everything. Yet we continually praise God for how far she has come. Things weren’t always this good on this roller coaster of a journey and we do recognize God’s grace in that truth. Yet we still miss how she was before the diagnosis, the time before an elephant would’ve gotten pregnant! So we pray God continues to allow her mind to improve. More improvement would be such a sweet gift for Mom and Dad both. If I could, I would like to humbly make one last request. Please lift all of us up as life outside this specific mom journey continues. Each of us girls have had or are having seasons of our own stresses, concerns, health problems, personal family roller coasters, all sorts of things. Pray for us as we navigate everything that life on earth brings. When I sit here and ponder it all I am in awe of God’s grace to us. We have been overwhelmed with burdens that we’ve never had to carry before while simultaneously going through this journey with Mom and Dad, and yet we are doing it and finding joy. It’s been possible to experience joy through it all because of our God. He has smothered us with His peace and love that is unexplainable. He has carried us through some hard lows only to open our hearts to some of the biggest reliefs and joys. He is a good God who is taking care of us. We don’t deserve His love and mercy yet those are two of the very things He is using to hold us up. What a mighty God we serve! We pray for you as we recognize that we are not alone in living through the hard things that life brings. Our prayer is that you may experience God’s peace and find relief as you have or may be going through your toughest trial yet. Blessings to you! ~Jenna