Happy Anniversary!

This past week has marked a year since this all began.

'This.' The 'this' for mom is living with having been diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer, and for the rest of us, 'this' is watching, caring, and loving her through this time. The past week was anniversary week. It encompassed a number of days that are stuck in our memory, all of which we would have rather not ever experienced in this lifetime. But we did, so here we are. Happy Anniversary! I mean that honestly. We are happy to be here; a year later. A year ago was downright hard. We were living through the initial shock of it all. Mom included. She handled it the best, I'd say. By the grace of God and through His comfort, peace and strength she carried us through those first weeks and months. I feel blessed to be at this point and to look over the last year and see how God has brought us all to this point. It is through Him that we carry-on. 'This' has only made us closer to one another and more importantly, to God. August 1st marked a year since mom made an appointment for what she thought was anxiety induced confusion. (All of which really only started surfacing a week prior.) The family doctor was quick to consider there may be more going on and referred mom to a neurologist. August 2nd marked a year to the day that it was discovered that there was a mass in mom's brain. Mom never made it to that neurology appointment talked about the day before. Instead, due to a sudden progression of increased confusion, we decided to take a fast pass and visit the ER. (I wish it was a fast pass while visiting Disney...but nope, the main entrance off Duke Street, instead. Rats!) In less than an hour the mass was discovered. She was then admitted and in line for brain surgery. (Again, standing in line for a ride at Disney is a much more preferred way to spend your time. Fast pass or not!) The next days were a blur. A slew of tests, scheduling brain surgery, juggling our children's and husband's schedules/needs around the week's events that just got turned upside-down, and Dad flying home as quickly as he could from having been working out-of-state. (And, no, Dad is not Super Man. He came home in a plane. Sorry to disappoint!) Every day we were meeting doctors who we were too ignorant to realize would become common household names in the year ahead. You see, everything pointed to this walnut sized tumor in her brain as benign. All our hopes were set on getting to the surgery date and getting it out and moving on from this. Yes, it was expressed that there was a chance this could be the dreaded 'c' word no one wants to think about, but nothing pointed in that direction. We were banking on the best case scenario. A benign tumor removed through surgery, with maybe a bit of post-surgery therapy of some sort and we would all fall back to 'normal' life. But nope. On August 8th, the much anticipated surgery day, those hopes of hearing the word benign faded. The surgeon wisely and professionally prepared us to wait on the biopsy reports and slowly put out the flame of hope we were so confidently holding on to. And later this week marks the one year anniversary that the nasty ogre of a tumor was given its proper name. Glioblastoma Multiforme...cancer...stage 4... Hours later from hearing the mind-boggling news, Mom and Dad met the oncologist, were briefly educated and discharged to go home. Through tears, she all but instantly accepted this diagnosis. She has been brave through it all. She and Dad asked us girls to come over that evening. They had given us the news earlier in the day but there were details to go over and questions to be answered. When we were at their home that evening she was just sitting there folding laundry. Dad was sitting at the kitchen table. Everything on the surface seemed so normal. (Well as long as mom didn't turn around...the 6 inch round, shaved bald spot and staples in the back of her head was a dead giveaway that something was up!) But seriously, how could this actually be? It was surreal....shocking....breathtaking. (But not in that "Oh wow! I've never seen such a gorgeous sunset" kind of way). But there was mom through it all. Folding laundry. Telling us it's all going to be fine. Even if fine isn't what we always imagined. She was brave and courageous with the peace of God radiating through her with an unwavering faith. Now, a year later, Mom, Dad, and others have full confidence that God has healed her, but after brain surgery, 6 weeks of radiation and chemo, followed by three additional months of chemo, and continued infusions, she has been left with some undesired side effects. Primarily, confusion and weakness. But, again, she is strong and brave. Trusting in the Lord with unwavering faith. She daily works on ways to re-teach herself how to overcome the confusion and works her mind in ways to help herself get better in the areas that have become more difficult. It is hard to watch her struggle to think through how to do something that at one time barely took even a thought. This is her constant battle everyday with just about everything, and although this can bring about a great deal of frustration for her, she does amazing. She is beginning to make fun of herself again. Which, if you know how she can find humor in things, you can only imagine the sarcastic comments that she comes up with. This has been nice to see. She also saw her oncologist this week and was told that she is doing well enough that her bi-monthly check-ups can now be stretched out to once a month. She will continue the same schedule for her infusions which is twice a month. This season in Moms life has affected us all. Mom and Dad of course, but also, us (Groff) girls, our husbands, our children, her mother, family, friends of the family, and maybe even someone reading this who has never personally met my Mom. I pray that it has somehow been a blessing in your life. Yes, this is difficult and has changed the way things used to be, BUT we are continually seeing blessings in the midst of this hardship. Blessings that have brought about changes for the better. Things are well. (Now granted, the word 'well' here could be equated to the way a husband uses the word well when he has announced the birth of his child and he says, "Mom and baby are doing well." He says this even though the said mom just went through 20 hours of hard labor topped off with three hours of pushing only to have a c-section. And the said baby has has yet to stop crying...on the top of his lungs...since delivery....4 hours ago. But in all actuality they are doing well. They are together as a sweet family and happy because of it. It's the same with this, I guess. We may not have asked for this, and it can be hard, but it's okay and we are doing well. Things are good. As Christians, we are on earth to glorify God, so here we are a year later, learning how to honor God in the midst of what has come our way. Oh the things He is teaching us!! We don't have it all figured out and fail often, but we are making it with the help of our Savior Jesus Christ. He is with us every step of the way. Mom and all of us are well because of Him. Pray for Mom and all of us because things are hard and some days are better than others. But also praise God because things are well! Our flame of hope may have been put out that day a year ago, but our true hope is in the Lord Jesus Christ and we praise Him. That flame burns bright! The overflowing basket of cards has now been divided into two large baskets which remain displayed in the main living area of their home, right in mom's eyesight. Mom has saved every card. Thank you for your love, support, concern, kindness, and thoughtfulness over this past year. Blessings